When I was walking around London today I felt alright, I was moving, I felt exhausted but I had a purpose, I almost felt important, I had something to do and I did it and I was kind of scared but that sense of fear and purpose drove everything away for a while. Then as soon as I got back home I felt like everything caught up with me and now I feel so small and stupid. I’m so tired, but not in the same way as earlier. I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself to do anything else and I feel like I no longer have anyone to talk to. I’m a million miles away from anyone right now, I don’t want to have to leave the house tomorrow, I’m sick of explaining myself to people who don’t really want to know, I’m sick, I want out of this body, I want to be okay, I want to feel awake
Anonymous asked: You are so brave for entering the competition and booking those train tickets despite your worries! That's really inspirational. :) Many people never even try because of the same worries you're having now. So well done!
Thank you dear, that’s a really lovely thing to say! I did start having second thoughts about it but I’m glad I went for it in the end, I won’t let myself get sad if I don’t get in because at least I tried 🌸 Thanks dear
I’m terrified about tomorrow. I’m taking my painting down to London to be entered into one of the most prestigious art competitions in the country; it seemed like a really good idea back in November when I decided to go for it but as the submission date got closer my doubts grew larger and larger and now I feel really scared. If I did get short-listed it will essentially get my name “out there” and will be incredibly valuable for my future career but whenever I even imagine getting picked for the exhibition I feel so pathetic and foolish for thinking that far ahead. The more I look at past entries and winners the more I feel like I’m wasting my time and money and feel such an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. I am completely prepared for rejection, but I’m doing it anyway. Also, I’ve been to London by myself a few times now but never out of zones 1 & 2 and tomorrow I’m going to be doing so much travelling on the tube with an A1 folder and I only have 3 hours to do all this because of the cheap trains I’ve booked. Basically I’m really scared and feel like I’m probably going to break down tomorrow
fineshrin-e asked: when I first saw your photography project for school, I was amazed. then I scrolled down to the self portrait and I was like hey I know who this girl is! by being familiar with your incredible artwork I wasn't as much surprised by the fact that they were your photos, just in awe of your talent and diversity. I hope you never stop creating!!
Ahhh this is so charming, thank you so much! I’m never quite sure how to feel about my photography work but you’ve just boosted my confidence so once again, thank you!
Anonymous asked: I just fount your tumblr and Instagram and I am already amazed by how talented you are and by how adorable and sassy your style is, you're one lovely girl! Good job! ;3;
Thank you wonderful, this made me smile after having such a crummy day